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Moving Forward

I have been absent from most of my Art social media accounts and yes, my main website blog included.  My world was split open and nothing made sense.  My life summed up in one simple word, G R I E F.   Three major blows occurred during the last five years and the last two knocked me totally out for a long while.  I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer after an almost 2 yr battle.  I lost my Dad after a 5 yr battle with Alzheimer’s, then the final totally unexpected blow came.   The one whom I turned to and walked so closely with daily, my mother’s identical twin was diagnosed with Leukemia three weeks after I buried my father.   She went in the hospital and never came out.  Eight weeks later she had died.   

I entered a stage when people talked at me and for me and around me, and not only did I no longer understand what they’re saying, I no longer cared.

My life was normal, and then, suddenly, it was not… I walked the path for 5 years and still NOT.  I was not able to fully grieve one death when followed by another.  I watched my dad die a long horrible death for many years with the most dreaded disease as that alone was not enough.

When out-of-order death enters your life, everything changes.

“It’s like being in a crowded movie theater. Everyone starts out watching the same picture, exactly the one they bought tickets for, exactly the same one as advertised. At some point, the screen rips in two, it shatters, and a whole new film begins. This one is surreal and strange, a horror show where there wasn’t one before. The characters have changed, the stage set is wrong. There are three moons in the sky, and this wasn’t science fiction when it started.

But the worst thing — the worst thing — is not that the movie has changed, but that no one else has noticed that it’s changed. They are all still watching as though nothing has happened. No one seems to notice that the screen has split and morphed, that everything is different now.

But until they see the screen you see, they will never understand.”as grief counselor Megen Divine says…  Thus, I had to disappear and find at least a part of who I was again.  Who am I without the 3 most important people I have walked my entire life with every day!???  I am at a point I can post to my website and facebook fan page again starting today.  Thank you for being there patiently and to those who never left me during this whole process.  This was the first piece since my aunt died. “Moving Forward”, this girl was a start to get the “elephant out of the room”, clearing the way for my heart to paint again. She was inspired from Olga Furman’s #PaintyourHeartandSoul2017 week 28.  I also have to say thanks to all who have sent messages asking where my art was and why you have not seen any. Your words of encouragement have meant the world to me.  Over the next few weeks I will be posting other works I have done since this one to catch up my pages.  I hope you are inspired and encouraged by them.   Love, Audie